Pentagon considers developing ‘Gay Bomb’ (REALLY)
Tue Jun 12, 2007 at 01:09:34 AM PDT
We’ve all heard of gaydar, the sophisticated apparatus that allows modern civilizations to detect homosexuals from afar–and neutralize them before they can threaten our precious bodily fluids, aieeee!
Gaydar is not widely used in military circles, as the top brass have turned instead to Managed Ignorance (A.K.A. “Don’t ask, don’t tell”) to protect the precious bodily fluids of those in uniform. (Except, of course, when they serve with British, Australian, and other ‘coalition’ troops whose nations allow gays to serve openly…)
But imagine if, instead of just passively defending against the Gay Menace, or pretending it doesn’t exist, you could use it as an offensive weapon in the War on Terra! Suppose your arsenal included a precision-guided HOMOSEXUAL LUST BOMB that would turn your enemies gay right in their boots!
One minute, a formidable, armed opponent; the next, a mere limp-wristed caricature, a harmless little poof, a mincing gay-bar loiterer, a winnet-covered walking perfume shop, and an ardent perverter of the guy in the next bunk!
Wouldn’t that be worth a few taxpayer millions?
Turns out someone in the U.S. Air Force thought so…
turbonium’s diary :: ::
This, from my local CBS affiliate’s evening news broadcast last night:
A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.
Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called “Gay Bomb.”
Lots of funny stuff after that. I SWEAR this is not some arty, tardy, tawdry April Fools joke. But I’m at a loss for a good quote here…
“Stupid is as Cupid does”, perhaps?
“Truth travels round the world, while Irony is putting on her boots”?
“All You Need is Love”?
Something like that.
Cry Havoc! and let slip the Draq-Queens of War!
The Mind. Just. Reels…